Adventures in Dogsitting

I dogsit on a frequent basis for a lovely couple.  They have no children.  Just their dogs.  Who are like children- huge ones at that.  They have 2 great danes, Rosie (my <3) and Sugar (my nemesis).  Rosie is old and wonderfully docile and loves to snug.  Sugar is young and clumsy and loves to eat poop and terrorize poor Rosie, Dinky, and Zsha-Zsha (the other members of the family's animal menagerie).  This last visit- may be my last visit. 

While I love the couple dearly (they are both artists and have an incredible house on the bench complete with stained glass door, claw foot tub and my own bottle of bubble bath every time I stay) I am not sure I feel the same about Sugar.  Can I tolerate her?  Yes.  Well maybe not as you will see given some of our adventures.

1.  Noise compalint for barking on day 1 of 11 days (pretty sure it came from the neighbor's dog but this   meant lots of inside time for Rosie and Sugar)

2.  Lots of inside time lead to destruction of lots of squeakers (no big deal and genuinely hilarious when Sugar had a squeaker hidden in her mouth and squeaked for about an hour)

3.  Then the bad

4.  Crying so loud at night there was no way to ignore it

5.  When ignored jumping on person bed (in dog room) and urinating on person bed

6.  Which lead to over 8 hours of googling and cleaning said bedding and mattress

7.  Peeing on own dog bed to spite dog sitter who so graciously cleaned urine out of person bed

8 .  Chewing of plastic bed cover while dog sitter washed linen covering of dog bed

9.  Absconding with bra, panties, and jeans of friend of dog sitter (who graciously stayed with scaredy cat sitter)

10.  Eating poop and breathing on sitter for prolonged periods of time insinuating lots of gagging

11.  Dragging outdoor blanket indoors with leaves, mulch and all

..... the icing on the "I don't like your child" cake?

12.  Eating poop and throwing it up on the rug (before it was digested) Only scroll down if you have an iron stomach

I am sorry Deam family, you have brought me lots of joy and bubble bath, and Mr. Cook's most favorite painting but Sugar does not live up to her name sake and I may need a year or two hiatus while she becomes more Sugar and less...awful