Emerson: A Birth Story | Part 1

gentlemans nursery name sign
{Emerson's Nursery via Bon Vivant Studios}

What a wild ride this whole parenthood thing is.  This whole having a tiny human that you're entirely responsible for is.  This little heartbeat that is already his own person is.

And what a crazy love bringing him into the world was.  Emerson Michael Cook, our Little Cookie, was born June 18, 2014 at 11:49 A.M. weighing in at 7 lbs. 14 oz., measuring 20 inches and turning our world upside down and inside out in the best possible way.

It's hilarious really the amount of control you think you have over your life.  Until you realize, through another human being, another soul, that really you have no control at all.  And that is completely unsettling and also really, really beautiful.

Emerson's birthday is confirmation of just that.  He was 'supposed' to join us on June 14th according to the doctor, on June 12th according to my calculations, and even earlier if you asked the secretaries at school or my students.  "Mrs. Cook, I can't believe you're still here."  Every day.  On repeat.  Until the last day of school.

And so I went in for my appointment, my "Hey, I'm officially over due appointment" content and apprehensive: all at once.

I really think I could have been pregnant forever.  Not because my pregnancy was perfect- although, I know I was incredibly fortunate to have it go as smoothly as it did- but because in all honesty I was absolutely terrified of becoming the one thing I had been praying for, waiting for, saving for, envious over for the last five years...becoming a parent.

That appointment made it very real.  I knew I was going to have to schedule a time to meet my person.  And, a time to become an entirely new person.  And even though it was an event I would have control over, one I could write in my planner, it also meant this whole thing was actually going to happen.  And it hit all at once while I sat nervously in my gown.

On that god awful tissue paper.